Major Payne’s Pet Menagerie: Spawn of G’nathus

Admiring the scars upon my chiseled face in the polished steel of my unsullied shield, it’s difficult to understand how I’ve been able to accomplish so much greatness. . .

No, not really. I mean, just look at me! And this shield? Yeah, don’t need it! In fact, just this morning I opted to leave the thing at home while I visited the north shores of Shan’ze Dao. I regularly hike the island just so I can swing cloudrunners around by their tails and laugh in Hei Feng’s face. Just recently, though, I ran into another creature few of you have heard of, and even fewer would be brave enough to face: G’nathus!

With one hand tied behind my back and a cattail reed for a sword, I fought the mighty beast for 23 seconds before enjoying sushi for lunch. Makes you want to kiss my bicep, don’t it? Oh, the thing tried to summon its brood and electrify the waters around me, but it was only a waste of time. Later, I discovered you can dampen the sensation of static in your mouth with a little wasabi. Burp!

Of course, I didn’t tackle this encounter just to hone my stick-poking skill. I wanted to add the Spawn of G’nathus to my ginormous pet menagerie! What do you have to say about that, Crithto?

Crithto: Channeling the cunning powers of Lei Shen, Spawn of G’nathus is a DPS master, capable of delivering devastating blows to opponents using Paralyzing Shock and Dive. If you want him to lead the charge against a team, skills like Lightning Shield and Thunderbolt followed by Swallow You Whole should do the trick.

I swear, the fearful looks in your eyes and gaping mouths do nothing to my feels. Sooner or later, you’ll come to realize that it takes time, practice, and a little bit of crazy to reach even the lowest point of the awesome heights I’ve achieved. So stop gawkin’ at me and get on out to Townlong Steppes!

Lorewalker Cho: The ancient pandaren texts contain much speculation as to the origin of G'nathus. Some believe him to be a Loa left by the Zandalari to protect the Throne of Thunder, while others suggest that the mogu formed the great beast in their Halls of Flesh-Shaping. A very small group thinks that G'nathus was once Lei Shen's pet fish, empowered by years of proximity to the Thunder King and flushed down into the contaminated sewers beneath the palace.

Regardless of G'nathus' origins, adventurers seeking to secure his clutch by braving the choppy waters north of Townlong Steppes are advised to bring friends—and a rubber swimming suit.

Come join the discussion about this pet in our Pet Battles forum. You can also learn more about Spawn of G'nathus by visiting Warcraftpets.com.

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Major Payne’s Pet Menagerie: Son of Animus

The problem with that mechanical guardian Archritualist Kelada made for Lei Shen is that it didn’t have feelings. Kelada’s Dark Animus was a cold-hearted construct that couldn’t fully appreciate the might of my sword, nor stand in awe of my incredible battlefield prowess as I pulverized it into permanent sleep mode. I see that look of amazement in your eyes!

While you’ve been busy pushing dinosaurs toward extinction, I’ve been busy strolling through the Throne of Thunder finding ways to test your skills. Notice how I said strolling?! Reports from my spies indicate many of you have gone through an inordinate amount of rationed “QQ” tissues after visiting the Isle of Giants. Poor you. How about a relaxing jaunt through the Halls of Flesh-Shaping to reinvigorate the mind and body? Oh dear, here come the tears again!

Now, before you boo-hoo your way outta here, remember that this is training—and it’s challenges like these that’ll one day mold you into a fierce and fearsome combatant. JUST LIKE ME! Let’s listen to what the unofficial guardian of Stormwind has to say.

Crithto: Son of Animus is force to be reckoned with! Using skills like Touch of the Animus and Interrupting Jolt, he can quickly overcome even the fastest of pets. If survival is important to you, Siphon Anima and Extra Plating can help him dole out punishment while providing him with the extra protection he needs.

Son of Animus—much like daddy—is powered by the mysterious Anima compound, and this week your assignment is to understand the stuff. In the process, if you’re tenacious enough, maybe you’ll earn the right to control this potent pet. While that’s an easy task for me, for you . . . probably not so much. NOW GET MOVING!

Come join the discussion about this pet in our Pet Battles forum. You can also learn more about Son of Animus by visiting Warcraftpets.com.

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Major Payne’s Pet Menagerie: Spectral Porcupette

Many years ago, I was in Loch Modan training to become the mighty paragon of a champion you see before you. Let’s not quibble about how legendary I am to behold! One day while I was out hunting grizzlies, armed with nothing more than a Whittling Knife, I was ambushed by a wily Mosshide chieftain by the name of Sagepaw! Several hours later, I was the proud owner of a fist-full of gnoll teeth, three new scars, and a very warm fur blanket. You know you’re impressed!

The reason I’m regaling you with this tale of just one of my many triumphs is that I know exactly how you tamers are gonna feel with this week’s challenge: Collect enough Giant Dinosaur Bones to earn yourself a Spectral Porcupette! There’s no hiking half-way across Pandaria carrying grummles on your back this time. No, your training will come at the hands—err, claws and hooves—of the primal monstrosities that run rampant on the Isle of Giants. There you will be reminded of just how fragile life can be!  If you want one of these paranormal, prickly pets, you’re gonna have to work for it! Give these tamers what for, Crithto.

Crithto : This ghostly creature can be yours for a hefty pile of bones, if you dare to face the powerful beasts that roam the Isle of Giants. The Spectral Porcupette uses new moves drawn from the realm of spirits, blinding foes with Spectral Spine to strike them for heavy damage with Spectral Strike. The Porcupette can also go on the defensive, throwing up Spirit Spikes to damage any pet foolish enough to strike it, and warding off blows with Illusionary Barrier.

You have your orders! Be prepared to face some of Azeroth’s most dangerous creatures . . . and if the challenge makes you feel like you need a bottle and “nap nap time”, I won't laugh too hard if you want to bring some friends along with you. Tamers dismissed!

Come join the discussion about this pet in our Pet Battles forum. You can also learn more about the Spectral Porcupette by visiting Warcraftpets.com.

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Major Payne’s Pet Menagerie: Kun-Lai Runt

Crithto has informed me that some of you felt last week's pet was too adorable. And here I thought I was easing you into your training. How else are we supposed to mold you into a lean, mean, Pet-Battling machine!?

Fine, let's ramp things up. Meet your newest soldier: the not-so-cuddly Kun-Lai Runt! Give 'em the lowdown, pug.

Crithto: Shaking the very ground with each step it takes, the Kun-Lai Runt is an offensive powerhouse! At higher levels, the Runt can employ a 3-hit combo, chilling foes with Frost Shock, followed by a stunning Deep Freeze attack, and finishing off any foe with massive damage from its powerful Takedown.

Excellent. Now, the goal here is to get you in shape and ready to conquer the mighty pets of Azeroth. Sure, you may have had trouble with my team, but whippin’ you into tip-top form is my goal! This week, your job is to climb the peaks of Kun-Lai Summit, but there are a few ground rules. First, you can’t use a mount. Hoof it, tamer! Second, you must visit the grummles, find the ones with the giant rucksacks, and carry three of them on your back as you head up. That’s right, channel your inner yak! Third, you have to get there by walking backwards. From Krasarang!

Move out!

Come join the discussion about this pet in our Pet Battles forum. You can also learn more about the Kun-Lai Runt by visiting Warcraftpets.com.

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Major Payne’s Pet Menagerie

You think you can hold your own against the fiercest of creatures in that kind of shape!? DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY, TAMER!

I’ve brought in my pal Crithto, who's gonna help me prepare you to conquer all of Azeroth’s Battle Pets, and each week we’ll be featuring a unique and challenging pet you too can obtain . . . if you’re prepared!

The rumor going around Icecrown is that you think you’re a seasoned veteran. A champion among champions with—as the trolls say—“da skills to pay da bills, mon.” Well, I don’t think so! But before you get all bent out of shape, here’s my challenge to you: beat the Elites! That’s right, go out there and defeat every single Elite Battle Pet of the pandaren fables and then get back to me. Until then, they’re all yours, Crithto.

Crithto: A slew of adorable new panda pets have invaded Pandaria, obtainable by defeating the powerful beasts of pandaren fables. The orange cousin of the Red Panda, the Sunfur Panda, can create perfect napping conditions with Sunlight, and then follow it up with Hibernate to gain a significant amount of health.  The new Cute Face ability gives the Sunfur Panda a chance to dodge attacks, and with Survival, the Panda can outlast many rounds of enemy attacks.

Alright, you've got your orders. Don’t stand there looking like you need a tissue, get out there and start showing me you have what it takes!

Come join the discussion about this pet in our Pet Battles forum. You can also learn more about the Sunfur Panda by visiting Warcraftpets.com.

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